For Ladies – How to Stop Dating Losers


You know the drill. You start a new relationship filled with hope that this is going to be "the one." A couple months later you are kicking yourself and left disappointed yet again because this guy turned out to be as big a loser as all the ones who came before him. Do you feel like you are stuck in a rut with dating and keep dating the same type of guys over and over who all just wind up being losers? If so, here are some tips on how to stop dating losers.

The good news is that you are partway to solving the problem of dating losers by just recognizing that you have been. As with most things in life, simply identifying that you have a problem is a good first step.

The first thing you need to do is evaluate exactly what it is that you do not like about the men you have been dating and what makes them a loser in your eyes. Do you date "bad boys" who wind up cheating on you the first chance they get? Are you drawn to men who become physically or emotionally abusively shortly after you start dating? Perhaps you always wind up with a guy with no job and no appearance ambition to ever get one. Or, it could be as simple as once the initial exclusion of dating wears off you realize you have nothing in common with the guy and get bored. There are any number of reasons that a guy could have considered a "loser" when you are dating him, so you need to pinpoint the common thread that you seem to keep falling for.

Once you have identified the pattern in the guys you usually fall for, you need to look at how you can stop the pattern.

Try to spot indications that you may have missed in your past relationships that should have alerted you how they were going to turn out. Did you catch your boyfriend checking out the waitress on your second date? Or maybe they got excessively angry at being cut off in traffic or for some other trivial reason. It is difficult when you first start dating someone to judge their character because everyone is on their best behavior when they first start dating. However, because no one is perfect people usually slip up and give you clues to their true personality no matter how well behaved they try to be. If you can find some of these clues that you should have seen in your past relationships it can help you to be more aware and spot them earlier before you get too involved with the same type of man again.

While it is true that opposites attract, it does not necessarily mean that opposites work in relationships. Once the initial exclusion of a relationship wears off you may suddenly find that you have nothing in common with the guy you are dating. A good way to work around this problem is to try to meet men who enjoy the same activities as you. For instance, if you love to bowl, join a co-ed bowling team. If cooking is your thing, take some evening cooking classes. When you start looking there are hundreds of different places to meet men and you may just find the perfect one who enjoys many of the same things you do and who will make a wonderful partner.

The most important thing is to trust your gut. Listen to the nagging voice in your head that keeps telling you that a guy does not seem right for you. It's easy to shove that voice down when you're just starting a relationship, but it is almost always right and can help you make smarter dating decisions if you give it a chance.

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